DEY vs DIY: Why Doing Everything Yourself Might Be Slowing Down Your Journey to FI

At Uncontrollable Me, we help everyday people become work optional by living intentionally and with purpose. And along that journey, one theme keeps popping up in the Financial Independence (FI) community — the idea that doing it all yourself is somehow a badge of honor.

But today, I want to challenge that. Because what seems like a smart money move might actually be holding you back.

I call it the DEY vs DIY paradigm — Do Everything Yourself versus simply Do It Yourself.

The Fine Line Between Resourcefulness and Burnout

Many of us in the FI space pride ourselves on being resourceful. We cut costs, troubleshoot problems solo, and stretch every dollar. And don’t get me wrong — that’s a powerful mindset that can absolutely move the needle when it comes to saving and investing.

But here's the thing: reducing expenses is a tactic — not the goal.

The real goal is to live your best life to and through financial independence. That includes health, wealth and happiness — not just spreadsheets and savings rates. And sometimes, the strongest move you can make on that journey is this:

Ask for help.

Introducing the H.E.L.P. Framework

To help you recognize when it's time to reach out, I created a simple tool called the H.E.L.P. Framework — a decision guide rooted in well-being, not weakness.

Here’s what it stands for:

H – Holding too much

You’re carrying more than you can manage — mentally, emotionally, or logistically.

E – Energy is drained

Your inner battery is running low, and the usual ways of recharging aren’t cutting it.

L – Losing clarity

You feel stuck or unsure about what’s next, even though you’ve been trying to figure it out.

P – Patterns keep repeating

Despite your efforts, the same challenges keep resurfacing. It might be time for a fresh perspective.

Sound Familiar?

Here are some real-life scenarios I’m hearing from clients:

“I’d love to take a mini-retirement, but I have no idea where to start.”

“I’ve reached FI… now what? Who am I without the 9-to-5 grind?”

“I’m going through a big life change — a move, a divorce, a career shift — and I’m anxious about how it’ll impact my FI journey.”

The list goes on. But one thing is clear: FI opens the door to countless options, and while that’s exciting, it can also be overwhelming — even paralyzing — without clarity or support.

The Good News? You Don’t Have to Go It Alone.

We live in a time where affordable, professional help is more accessible than ever. Whether it's:

A fee-only financial advisor to review your portfolio,

A tax pro to navigate a complex filing year, or

A coach like me to help you reconnect with your values and figure out your next move...

Getting help can actually accelerate your journey — not slow it down.

And as Brené Brown says:

“Asking for help is a power move. It's a sign of strength to ask — and a sign of strength to fight off judgment when other people raise their hands.”

The Bottom Line

The path to FI isn’t meant to be walked alone. It’s not about doing everything yourself — it’s about doing what works, with intention and the right kind of support.

If any part of this resonated with you, maybe it’s time to revisit your approach. Maybe it’s time to let go of the pressure to do it all on your own — and instead, take a step forward with someone in your corner.

You don’t have to earn your freedom through exhaustion. You just have to move forward — intentionally.